


Are we dating?

by Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire



Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [23]
Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Carry On Countdown (Simon Snow), F/M, Friendship, Gift Fic, M/M, Meet-Cute, POV First Person, POV Penelope Bunce, Pen Pals, Prompt Fic, Watford Eighth Year, What is dating anyway?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire/pseuds/Sharing_a_room_with_an_open_fire
Summary: Set Watford 8th year. Penny realises her and Micah are broken up. She accidentally meets a bloke named Shep on a messaging board.Penny isn't sure yet if Shep is nice. But she will figure it out. Illegal magic might be involved.Part 9 ofButter SeriesCOC 2020 Day 23, DEC 17: Cooking/Baking.Inappropriate humour.
Relationships: Penelope Bunce & Simon Snow, Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Series: Di’s Carry On Countdown 2020 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023208
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19
Collections: Carry On Countdown 2020





	Are we dating?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LesOublies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LesOublies/gifts).



> Dear reader, I hope you will enjoy this silly ficlet.💙 Part 9 of **[Butter](https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030383) Series**.  
>   
>  **Bish** , this is for you. 💙💙💙
> 
> * * *
> 
> As always so many thanks and love to my amazing friends and betas Blue ([mybluebucketofsnow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mybluebucketofsnow/pseuds/mybluebucketofsnow)), [shushu_yaoi_lj (llamapyjamas)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shushu_yaoi_lj/pseuds/shushu_yaoi_lj) and [Theawkwardbibliophile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theawkwardbibliophile/works).  
>   
> Thank you for all the help and support with this COC and everything I write and for being awesome friends. 💙
> 
> * * *

# PENELOPE

Simon doesn't know this yet but Micah and I broke up. Well, I didn't know it at first either. I never actually listen to him. Not like he has anything important to say anyway. 

Micah doesn't care for conspiracy theories and if I have to be entirely honest, that should have been a _red_ _flag_ itself. 

Great snakes, what kind of person doesn’t believe or care about them? I have yet to encounter a conspiracy theory that didn’t turn out to be true. 

I cried for quite a bit after the breakup. He met another girl and didn't even have the decency to tell me. 

So one day I was _more_ pissed at him than devastated and were googling various websites on conspiracy theories of the world, like I do every Friday night.

And in an unlikely turn of events, I ended up on a message board for _magickal_ discussions. 

Most people there are Normals and utterly clueless. Except for one person. 

I've been messaging with this bloke, who seems alright even though he's from America. 

His name is Shepard but he goes by _Shep_. 

Shep knows about magic, he’s been cursed by a demon. And not only does he understand the importance of social justice but _cares_ about it as well. 

At first, I thought maybe he's not even American. Surely all of them are brainwashed capitalists? 

“Are you sure you’re American?” I ask Shep when I call him via Skype. 

He hasn’t shared his contacts with me yet, but I hacked his phone magickally. (He was impressed with me and called me _awesome_. Usually, Simon is the only one who gives me compliments.)

“I’m really American, Penelope. I swear,” he says and shows me his drivers license. (Those are easy to fake though. I would know.)

“Nicks and Slick, you’re imbecile,” I yell at him. “You should not give up your personal information to a stranger.”

“But we’ve known each other for a week, and we’re already bickering like an old married couple,” Shep grins at me and I roll my eyes at him.

“If you really are American, then why are you so genuinely kind and care about the world and the environment?” I demand because something is not adding up.

“Oh that’s easy,” he chuckles, “I’m American but I voted for Bernie Sanders.”

That tells me absolutely nothing and I end up googling this particular politician while pretending to check my email. 

Shep is either _too thick_ to understand or _too nice_ to point it out. (I’m fine with both.)

“Bernie Sanders’ standpoints are fairly progressive. He is a politician with brilliant ideas for _good_ reforms,” I say into the camera, hoping that it sounds as though I knew this all along and didn’t just google it a minute ago. “That is a true virtue nowadays and all I can say is that I approve greatly.” 

“I’m glad you approve,” he answers and seems genuine. 

No one except for Simon cares about what I think. (It’s a man’s world out there.)

“Are you a feminist?” I ask Shep and cast a spell to force honesty, _**“The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth!”**_

It’s an advanced spell, but I am absolutely brilliant and can cast it even through Skype. It is also a restricted one.

However, there’s no one around and I refuse to be a cog in the machine of patriarchy that is the Mage’s rule. 

“Of course I am,” he answers smiling and I exhale in relief.

“Good,” I smile too.

Now I _know_ for sure that I can trust Shep’s values both politically and morally. He's one of the good ones even though he's from America.

Shep chuckles for some reason. “You’re speaking so official, Penelope. Unless that was a spell.”

“You might never know,” I respond and feel my cheeks burn. 

Are we by any chance _flirting_? 

Truthfully I wouldn’t even know if we were. I decided Micah should be my boyfriend in the fourth year when he was an exchange student in our school for the year. 

I’m not sure I wanted a boyfriend back then. But everyone else was talking about it. I thought it’d be nice to already get one so I wouldn’t need to worry later.

“I wish you could come to visit me in the states,” Shep says and I smile internally. “I’ll make you my famous homemade lemonade.”

I try not to cringe at that. (Hopefully, it’s not awful.)

“I’d teach you how to make a decent cup of tea,” I tell him because surely he doesn’t know how to make one.

“Oh, I’m more of a coffee kind of guy,” Shep answers and judging by the fact that I can forgive him this indiscretion means I must fancy him _a lot_. 

“Maybe you could come to Watford for the last semester?” I suggest. “I'm looking forward to examining your demon cursed tattoos.”

“I’d like to spend time with you too, Penelope,” he says and swallows. “I mean for you to examine the tattoos.”

* * *

After talking on Skype with Shep for four weeks every day I am beginning to believe there is _more_ to this relationship than I originally thought.

I think we’re _dating_ now. 

But I'm not sure. 

I don’t think asking Simon is a good idea. He doesn’t even know that he and Baz were practically dating themselves since fifth year. (No one casts that many curses without a romantic intent.)

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. 💙


End file.
